I Know Who Holds My Tomorrow
This post has been on my heart for a few weeks now. It has been one thing after another lately. Now, don't get me wrong, we are so unbelievably blessed but our small struggles are still struggles nonetheless. I have felt worthless, unworthy, afraid, and so so so weak. I have thought to myself over and over, "These guys deserve better." Not just Matthew and Elias, but Darren too. I kept telling myself that I would never be enough for them. Being young and being a wife/mother can be daunting. I tell myself way too often that I can't do this. I haven't felt capable of being the kind of wife Darren deserves and the patient mother our sons deserve. I didn't realize what was happening until I was literally sobbing in my car that this was an attack from satan. He was coming at me full force and I was feeding into his lies. That is such a tricky part about faith, it is sometimes so hard to identify what the evil is doing. I wasn't just being affected in my family life, but in every aspect of my life. There have been situations thrown my way and I haven't had the strength to deal with them or even known HOW to deal with them. I have found myself listening to Lauren Daigle's "You Say" on repeat. It has brought me so much comfort. I AM ENOUGH. I AM WORTHY. I AM LOVED. I AM HELD. I needed the reminder that my identity lies in Christ alone. I needed the reminder of WHO my identity rests in. It isn't satan, it is our Heavenly Father. I can actually feel God doing something big. I have no idea what it is, but it is big. He's molding me right now, so I am trying so incredibly hard to be a faithful servant and follow what he is leading me to. He is so good to me.
I encourage you to remember WHERE your identity rests, whether you're a mother or not. You are worthy and capable. You are enough.